Plans and the New Year

I could say I am on the New Year bandwagon of resolutions and thoughts however that would not be true. I tend to go through all that in the days leading up to the Solstice (Winter here in Australia). By the time Christmas arrives, I am usually relatively at peace (well, other than the usual chaos the 25th creates in place of crazy humidity and heat). Then January comes around I have already made steps towards moving into the New Year’s energy.

This year, I am hopeful for a continued and upward turn in health after 2015 was taken over by studying and living with Ross River Fever. It is still not gone and probably won’t be for quite some time. It just means I have to be even more organised and aware than usual of my body’s messages.

Towards the end of last year, amidst the chaos of a particularly challenging set of study circumstances, I re-commenced wording.

Not a lot, but a start. After realising the idea of word counts and daily writing is really not for me (no matter how many ways I jigged it), I’ve crunched data and decided to pursue a way that works for me. I have created a loose-leaf page (on pretty paper) to use to help me track and remember (regular illness makes time go wonky and wibbly wobbly). I can and do tend to be organised only to be waylaid by bad health (rinse and repeated that cycle for too many decades, yes, decades). The result is I have also taken on a couple of things for 2016 that are all about organisation and accountability.

front-page-me-plannerThe first is I’ve joined in with Nicole Cody and her Year of ME Planner (ME = Manifesting Energies). It is filled with things I have done in a scattered way (literally at times across my desk). Nicole has brought it all together into one place and blends the practical with the mystical. It’s going to be interesting to look back come December. The mystical side of myself, I am curious to see how it reveals publicly as it is a side of myself those closest to me have always seen, but publicly or in the online world, I’ve been a bit more circumspect about sharing.

sunday-circle-bannerThe other thing I’ve committed myself to is a creative circle that Peter M Ball has going on his blog. The Sunday Circle is a way for me to be specifically and (online publicly) writing accountable. The amusing (for me) thing is both use Sunday as a planning day whereas I’ve tended to use Monday as my planning of the week ahead. I see Sunday as the thinking time and Monday morning as the accountability time (one of the joys of not working a Monday for a long time, even when I was day jobbing, I had Mondays off).

Let’s see what 2016 brings.

Sparks & Words

I’ve been undertaking a summer school unit for my Masters, partly to keep going and partly as an experiment. Brisbane, without air conditioning, is not the place to undertake summer study. Unless, I really need to, no more summer school. It’s now done and I’m in a state of bliss with three weeks of no “have to study” state of mind.

A blog post by one friend and a reminder of a challenge another is doing combined with, dare I say, an epiphany sees this post push itself through and ahead of some other posts about my love of the letters that make up words.

The return to study has been both a challenge and an inspiration for me. This post about overcoming obstacles by Nicole Cody (go, read it, I’ll wait) hit me hard as I too have had to fumble and make my way through a fog for so long, I can’t remember a time in my life not having it. I do know by the middle of 2013, I was at a point of losing my ability to read. What used to take me a week to read was taking over a month and each time it was a struggle. I suspect if my stubbornness wasn’t so strong I’d have given up entirely. Slowly, I have reclaimed my brain use and the relief is great but so is a self-doubt and mistrust of its return. Will it stay? When will I lose it again? Can I trust it will be here for me?

As I regained a sense of clarity of thought, I commenced my studies, just one at a time, a dipping my toe in, “in case my brain goes away again”. I’m now three subjects in and I’m shocked by my marks. Not how bad, but how good. I keep pinching myself, thinking the bubble will burst. But, with three subjects done, I am admitting to myself, perhaps, just perhaps my brain really is back and is actually working again.

Also coming back are creative words, even sentences. Which build to paragraphs and I hope to full stories. I’ve missed writing. I’ve been frustrated and despondent and many times at a loss as to how to overcome it. There are words stuck in my head but they’ve been lost for some time. This is where another friend’s challenge has come into it. For the past six months, Peter Ball has been writing every day using a number chart to mark off his achievements. I know many who use variations of this, for writing or other tasks. Even I’ve used it in the past when on a (usually academic) deadline. I’m travelling again tomorrow, but only for a few days, and on my return I’m setting myself up to undertake this. As he says, even a sentence can count. I have to tell myself it is okay to not keep going when I have my bad week of health, but if I can manage even that, I’ll be pleased.

Thank goodness for friends who help shine lights on the path.