Plans and the New Year

I could say I am on the New Year bandwagon of resolutions and thoughts however that would not be true. I tend to go through all that in the days leading up to the Solstice (Winter here in Australia). By the time Christmas arrives, I am usually relatively at peace (well, other than the usual chaos the 25th creates in place of crazy humidity and heat). Then January comes around I have already made steps towards moving into the New Year’s energy.

This year, I am hopeful for a continued and upward turn in health after 2015 was taken over by studying and living with Ross River Fever. It is still not gone and probably won’t be for quite some time. It just means I have to be even more organised and aware than usual of my body’s messages.

Towards the end of last year, amidst the chaos of a particularly challenging set of study circumstances, I re-commenced wording.

Not a lot, but a start. After realising the idea of word counts and daily writing is really not for me (no matter how many ways I jigged it), I’ve crunched data and decided to pursue a way that works for me. I have created a loose-leaf page (on pretty paper) to use to help me track and remember (regular illness makes time go wonky and wibbly wobbly). I can and do tend to be organised only to be waylaid by bad health (rinse and repeated that cycle for too many decades, yes, decades). The result is I have also taken on a couple of things for 2016 that are all about organisation and accountability.

front-page-me-plannerThe first is I’ve joined in with Nicole Cody and her Year of ME Planner (ME = Manifesting Energies). It is filled with things I have done in a scattered way (literally at times across my desk). Nicole has brought it all together into one place and blends the practical with the mystical. It’s going to be interesting to look back come December. The mystical side of myself, I am curious to see how it reveals publicly as it is a side of myself those closest to me have always seen, but publicly or in the online world, I’ve been a bit more circumspect about sharing.

sunday-circle-bannerThe other thing I’ve committed myself to is a creative circle that Peter M Ball has going on his blog. The Sunday Circle is a way for me to be specifically and (online publicly) writing accountable. The amusing (for me) thing is both use Sunday as a planning day whereas I’ve tended to use Monday as my planning of the week ahead. I see Sunday as the thinking time and Monday morning as the accountability time (one of the joys of not working a Monday for a long time, even when I was day jobbing, I had Mondays off).

Let’s see what 2016 brings.


Twists, turns and rest

So, about a week after my last post here, I started having some issues with my left hand. I didn’t think anything of it. Well, other than, I must’ve hit the bed head hard one night in my tossing and turning as said hand felt bruised. Fast forward another two weeks, still no obvious signs of injury but add to the list both hips, knees, ankles and all the bones in my feet feeling bruised. Frustration at my physical inability to do anything usual, like bend down to get vegetables from the fridge, sitting crossed leg, or sitting, standing, walking. Forget about stairs. I became like a small child walking up and down stairs, clutching the rail and taking it two feet per step. On a rare occasion I managed to feel able to go out, I mentioned in passing to a friend who saw me, that maybe I’m just starting to age, albeit rather painfully.

I eventually went to my Dr, I didn’t feel sick per se, just very tired and well, incapable of using a fork well, or type much. I had the joy of tests of various kinds (focusing on my left hand) with the words rheumatoid arthritis thrown in. I did not want it to be this. I’ve had enough issues over the past couple of decades I really didn’t want a new life-long thing to contend with. The good news, it is not rheumatoid arthritis. I am so glad of this. Still.

However, I did come back positive for Ross River Fever. Or, rather, I “have had” it. Both the Dr and I were surprised (he only added it on the tests due to the high incidence). The city of Brisbane has this wet season had an epidemic RRF and the best my Dr and I can work out is the “bad cold” I had in very early January must have been the “flu-like” part of this event. I haven’t had any of the other symptoms and why my body decided to wait for the joints to flare over six weeks later, is anyone’s guess.

I’ve spent the entire month of March railing against this and trying to find a way to manage day-day living along with my studies (I have dropped down to one subject) and rekindled desire to get stories out of my head.

I’ve worked so hard to get better to only be given another Universal thwack on the message to rest. A lot. I can’t do much else. My physical body has banned me from trying. Last week, the stairs defeated me. Again. I returned to the Dr and am now on a stronger anti-inflammatory.

Daily, my mobility slowly returns (after midday each day) and my fatigue well, it’s still there. I can’t sit at a desk or computer or table for long (feet swelling). I sleep a lot (though on waking, my hips remind me they are sore). From all who know of this illness, the only thing to do is rest and/or sleep. A lot and for a good long while (not days or weeks but months). The result is I now must plan out my weeks with small activities, breaking down what I would usually do in a day to go over weeks. Frustration is a regular thing but I know this is finite.

There is good in this. I am dreaming of my stories again. Also, it’s not rheumatoid arthritis.